Mar 31, 2021

In an unexpected and surprising move, Microsoft has announced plans to no longer release security updates on the second Tuesday of each month. 

The tech giant has also confirmed that it will instead work to maintain its security flaws and upgrades on a continual basis, a promise that many in the industry find skeptical. 

“We are excited to usher in a new era of security and innovate upon our existing infrastructure to end the perpetual cycle of patching. We hope IT teams find comfort in knowing that our new process doesn’t break anything,” said one Microsoft executive.

Many security and IT teams across the country are taking the day to celebrate this momentous victory.

“This is the happiest day of my life. I remember being happy the day my child was born, but this usurps that by a pretty large margin,” said one anonymous IT admin.

“I can finally sleep at my home the week of Patch Tuesday and not have my back killing me the next day. My kids are much happier that I am around,” said another IT admin.

However, others are less optimistic. 

“Without regularly scheduled security updates, Exploit Thursday is going to become a much more lucrative opportunity for attackers. I’m confused with this decision by Microsoft’s security team,” said one anonymous CISO.

April Fools!  😜

Written by

Kent Weigle

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